


Asgardian Philosophy

by Hufflepuff_Donkey



Category: German Philosophers, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, I'm sorry for writing this, M/M, Tesseract, crowning of thor, it just sort of happened, philosophy but with porn in it, why am i even posting this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7272271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuff_Donkey/pseuds/Hufflepuff_Donkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Immanuel Kant, the famous German philosopher, is invited to Asgard to represent Humanity at Thor's crowning. But his plans change when he meets Loki...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asgardian Philosophy

Asgard. A world of gods and otherworldly beings that was new to Immanuel Kant, the famous Prussian philosopher. He was standing before the impressive doors of the organ-like palace that was home to the Asgardian ruler, Odin, and his family. The shiny facades were nothing compared to the castles Kant had known on Earth – Sanssouci, Versailles, those were only gardening huts while Asgard was a fantastic piece of genius architecture. The philosopher’s eyes glistened with amazement, and he didn’t notice right away that a guard was approaching him.

‘Peasant, it is not permitted to be that close to the palace today’, the guard said with a certain authority. ‘The festivities for the heir’s crowning are being prepared and no civilian is allowed near the palace until the crowning begins.’

Kant jumped and needed a few seconds to calm down and answer.

‘I know, sir’, he said in a heavy German accent, ‘but I was invited by His Majesty Odin to represent the human race at his son’s crowning. My name is Immanuel Kant.’

The guard smiled.

‘Yes, of course, Immanuel Kant’, she said. ‘Please, follow me. I will lead you to the throne hall, where the King is waiting for you.’

‘Thank you very much.’

Trying to follow the guard’s quick pace, Kant walked through the gate into the building. They passed numerous halls, ran up a flight of stairs, stepped down the next one, and eventually stopped before a big wooden door. Kant had a quick glance at the carvings representing the royal family’s ancestors before the guard told her colleagues that were standing at the door to announce the Prussian guest.

The doors opened, revealing the throne hall. It was a magnificent room, decorated with gold and silver and gemstones everywhere. The ceiling was high, very high, and armed guards were standing fiercely at the foot of the stairs leading to the actual throne. And on that throne was seated Odin, King of Asgard, and father of Thor, the god of thunder. Odin’s helmet was glistening, and his red cape was elegantly arranged behind his back. His glance was directed at Kant, who took a deep breath before walking towards the throne and kneeling before Odin.

‘In the name of mankind, I present to you my deepest gratitude for allowing me to attend the crowning of Thor, your son’, Kant said.

Odin smiled.

‘Welcome to Asgard, Immanuel Kant. I trust Loki was kind and respectful when he came to Earth to invite you to visit us.’

Before Kant could come up with an answer, Loki, Odin’s second son, entered the hall. He was walking at a confident pace and a smile was lighting up his face. He climbed the few stairs that lead to the throne and took his place next to Odin. Despite his nervousness, Kant couldn’t help but notice how tight-fitting Loki’s costume was; it subtly revealed the god’s muscular shoulders and his long and dark hair highlighted his intense blue eyes.

‘Good day to you, father,’ Loki said to the King. ‘Ah, I see the human has arrived. What is your name again, human?’

Kant swallowed hard. And somehow he knew it wouldn’t be the last time he did that.

‘Immanuel Kant, your Royal Highness,’ he said, trying to sound as confident as Loki.

‘Ah, yes.’ Loki, for his part, sounded amused. Kant knew that the prince had always thought himself superior to others and especially to those who lived on Earth – he had started to read about Norse gods after Loki had visited him in Königsberg, one evening after the philosopher had come home from university. He had had an exhausting day and had been looking forward to a nice bath when he had found in his living-room a Norse god who had been sent to invite him to his brother’s crowning. After the first shock, they had talked, and then Loki had disappeared, leaving Kant in a state of utter confusion. Nonetheless he had come to Asgard. And now he felt his heart pounding whenever he dared to look into Loki’s deep and mysterious eyes.

‘Well, father, please allow me to show Immanuel Kant around the palace’, Loki said. ‘He needs to see everything, since it is his duty to report to his peers what our world looks like and how it is sworn to protect the Earth.’

Odin thought about it and nodded.

‘Very well, son. Show our guest the palace, and then lead him to his apartments. He will stay with us a few days.’

Loki bowed to his King and father, then he walked towards Kant who stood up, ready to follow him.

‘Come with me, mortal’ Loki said in an unpleasant tone.

Kant did as he was told, and they left the throne hall. They walked through the palace for quite a long time, and both of them remained silent until they got into the crypt where the Asgardians kept their most precious artefacts. Among them, Kant knew it, was the legendary Tesseract.

Loki turned around to face the young philosopher.

‘I apologize for having acted so harsh with you when my father was there’, he said, looking to the ground. ‘He expects me to behave like that. And I have to do it, since Thor has always been his favourite son. If I did not meet his expectations, he would banish me from Asgard. I’d be of no use to him.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that, your Royal Highness’, Kant replied.

‘Please, call me Loki’, the prince said, smiling shyly.

‘Agreed’, the Prussian said.

The guards closed the crypt’s doors behind them, so that they were now alone in the big subterranean hall. Everything was very silent. Loki walked towards the shrine where the blue cube of energy was securely locked away from anyone else than the royal family and their intimate friends and guests. Behind him, Kant was beginning to feel a little ill-at-ease. He was alone in a room with a god – and what’s more, with a very handsome god. As Loki stretched his arms to take the Tesseract, the philosopher cleared his throat, which made the Asgardian prince turn around.

‘Yes?’ he said, surprised.

Kant blushed. He had tried to keep it to himself but something wanted him to say it out loud.

‘I… don’t think you should lay your hands on that, Loki. The Tesseract’s energy is something beyond imagination and –‘

‘Are you telling me’ Loki’s voice got louder, ‘are you telling me, a god, that this cube’s power is beyond me?’

For a moment, his eyes got darker than the night. But the next he calmed down and his pupils became blue again. Before Kant could answer, he continued.

‘I apologize. I am not used to being told what I should and should not do by anyone else than our King, and especially not by a mortal.’

Kant came closer to the prince and laid his hand on his firm shoulder. He could feel the strong muscles rolling under his fingers as Loki lifted his arm to place his hand over Kant’s.

‘It’s okay’, Kant said. ‘Do not worry.’

Loki smiled, and suddenly felt the urge to hug the young philosopher.

‘Do you mind if I take you in my arms?’ he asked.

‘No, not at all, I’d be glad actually’, Kant answered and smiled back.

They hugged each other. Kant was a bit shaky at first, but the longer the hug lasted, the more confident he became. Nevertheless, he felt his knees turning into jelly when the Asgardian whispered in his left ear:

‘I love your accent, by the way. It is… cute.’

‘You think so?’ Kant whispered back.

Loki looked him in the eyes.

‘Yes. I’ve always had a… thing for accents, especially those from Earth.’

Kant laughed quietly and stepped backwards to free the god from his hug. But Loki came closer again, blushing.

‘Do you… do you mind if I stroke your hair, Immanuel Kant?’

‘Oh, please call me Immanuel’, Kant said with a smile. ‘And, er, no, I don’t. But let me take off my wig first.’

Loki laughed and watched the young Prussian scalp himself. Kant shook his head and his long brown hair fell down, almost touching his shoulders.

‘You have beautiful hair’, the god said, stroking Kant’s temple. He quickly glanced at the philosopher’s lips, and nodded. Kant smiled, and nodded as well. Their faces came closer and closer, until their lips met. Kant dropped his wig.

At first it was a shy and hesitant kiss, but soon it turned into a more passionate one. Loki wrapped his arms around Kant’s neck, eyes closed, and smiling while kissing him. Eventually, they stopped, looking each other in the eyes. Kant was a little out of breath, and his cheeks were on fire. The Asgardian stroked Kant’s lips, still smiling.

‘That was nice’, he said softly.

‘Jawohl, it was’ Kant answered.

Loki chuckled.

‘I love it when you speak German, Immanuel.’

Kant said nothing, and started running his hands down Loki’s neck and chest. His costume was made of leather, which was very exciting to touch. The god closed his eyes and tried to repress a moan, without any success. Kant smiled, leaned over Loki and started gently kissing his neck. The godly skin was very soft in that spot and the philosopher licked it several times. He was abruptly interrupted by a noise coming from the doors of the crypt – startled, he looked at Loki, who told him with a gesture that it was okay.

‘It’s the changing of the guard’, he murmured. ‘Do not worry, Immanuel, no one is going to bother us.’

Kant nodded, and went back to kissing Loki’s neck. At the same time he tried to rid Loki of his clothes but he couldn’t find out how they were opened; the Asgardian noticed Kant’s distress, and made his clothes disappear in a heartbeat.

‘Wh… what? How did you do that?’ Kant asked, flabbergasted.

‘I’m a god, remember?’ Loki giggled, kissing the Prussian’s forehead.

‘Ach, true’, Kant replied, smiling.

Loki was now standing completely naked in front of him. Kant noticed the god had an erection. Which he thought was quite nice. He ran his hands over Loki’s back, making him shiver.

‘Immanuel, I want you. Now.’

Those words made the philosopher smile, and he laid his hands on each side of Loki’s hips and went down on his knees, taking the god’s penis into his mouth at the best of his abilities. He let his tongue play a little with the godly member then threw his head back to look at Loki, who had closed his eyes and was moaning. Kant smiled a bit more, and then went back to licking and kissing his lover’s privates. Loki moaned louder and threw his head back as well. He only needed a few minutes before he was just about to come.

‘Immanuel… Immanuel… IMMANUEL!’ he yelled as he finished in an orgasmic frenzy. His whole body was shaken by spasms, and he needed two whole minutes to calm down.

‘This is by far the best climax I have ever had’, Loki sighed happily after he had gained back control over his breathing.

‘I am glad that I could give you that, love’, Kant replied, swallowing the last rests of it.

‘I believe it is your turn now’, the Asgardian said, with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Although he actually IS the god of mischief, so I guess it’s kinda normal? I don’t know. Anyway, moving on. Kant smiled and stood up to give Loki another passionate kiss.

‘What do you like?’ Loki asked while sensually stroking his lover’s sides. ‘I mean, in matters of sex?’

‘Shut up and take me from behind’, Kant replied, panting.

Loki smiled, but it was not an innocent smile. His eyes changed colour, becoming dangerously red for a quick moment.

‘As you wish, master Immanuel’, he whispered, stepping behind Kant who had just removed his coat and vest. Loki stripped Kant from his pants and underwear until the Prussian arse was revealed. Then he gently pushed Kant against the wall on their left. Kant smiled and put his hands on the cold marble, feeling Loki grabbing his hips.

Loki had had an orgasm earlier, but thanks to his divine powers, he was able to make his penis go full erect again. It is pretty handy to be a god when you’ve got a penis, I have to say. Anyway, he closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them again, a bottle of lube had appeared in his hand. He put some of it onto his cock, threw the bottle away and entered Kant, who started to moan very loudly very quickly. Loki began to thrust, accelerating his pace as Kant’s moans turned into cries of pleasure.

‘Oh my god! Oh my god!’ the philosopher yelled.

‘Yes indeed’, Loki gasped, feeling that he was close to coming again.

He pushed his glorious sceptre into Kant, again and again, and they finished together.

‘That felt so good, Loki’, the young Prussian said, putting his underwear back on to avoid getting cold.

Sweaty and still panting, they lay down on the floor – a fluffy wool blanket had appeared, thanks to Loki – and cuddled for a while.

‘I am glad I came to Asgard’, Kant whispered.

‘I trust you are also glad you came IN Asgard’, Loki replied.

They looked at each other and giggled.

‘Actually, yes, I am – and I am happy we did this together’, Kant admitted.

‘So am I. Really.’

‘I wish I could stay here forever so that we could always have awesome sex.’

Loki smiled.

‘Do not worry, Immanuel. I will come visit you on Earth once in a while.’

‘Will you?’ Kant’s eyes sparkled.

‘Of course. You can’t spend all of your time writing boring philosophy books’, Loki said, and winked at the philosopher.

‘You’re right’, Kant laughed.

They hugged again, until they both fell asleep. Kant had a smile on his face. Maybe this trip to Asgard had opened his eyes. Maybe critical philosophy wasn’t the only truth out there. Because Loki had taught him the Asgardian way. Asgardian philosophy.


End file.
